I’m happy to report that Softball season is now over. We snagged a second place trophy in the G League, which is the lowest league. We weren’t even the best of the worst. I think it’s safe to say I contributed nothing to that team and successfully finished with the worst batting average on the team. If I could pick one picture to sum up the experience, it would be this one:
I’ve acquired a new nickname thanks to my friend. I’m now referred to as “The Blueberry Gremlin”. He walked into my apartment and saw me sitting on my balcony shoving blueberries into my face at mach speed. Having the shitty sense of humor he does, he then started calling me “Gizmo” and claiming you can’t give me blueberries after midnight or I’ll turn into a gremlin. Those of you that are too young to understand the reference to the movie “Gremlins”, jokes on you, I can legally drink and buy tobacco products.
That same friend also caught me squeezing mustard directly into my mouth. This should come as no surprise to my best friend Chelsea, as she once caught me shotgunning mustard packets in the basement of the library during finals week Junior year of college.
You won’t be shocked to know that I ended “Dry July” a day early. I did it the classiest way I know how: cans of Modelo and a boat ride. The last thing I remember is putting more hummus on a piece of pita bread than it can physically hold and aiming for my mouth…
I spent Sunday morning on an air mattress in my living room watching “Ancient Aliens” wondering where my night, and maybe my life, went wrong.
Happy August everyone!