I’ve declared this month “Dry July”, which means I’ve gone 21 days booze free (with the exception of a banana margarita that was totally worth it). At first, my brain wasn’t sure what to do on the weekends since the most computing it has to do is in the beer aisle at Safeway… I’ve already lost five pounds just from cutting out booze. Could I be turning over a new leaf? Probably not.
Last weekend, my friend and went to try a Lebanese restaurant downtown. The food was delicious and, turns out, the restaurant is a hot spot for men to bring their hookers. I even saw two of them making out. Who knew my groupon included dinner AND a show?
On Friday, I went into the break-room at work to get my usual afternoon snack and found 3 huge sheet cakes with thick frosting on the counter. I tried to discourage my food boner by telling myself it wasn’t vegan. Then I told myself “one little piece won’t hurt anything”… Next thing I knew I had a fist full of cake and heart full of shame.
My mom sent me a food processor my parents no longer use for my kitchen. She also sent me a mock turtleneck from a family reunion 15 years ago… On what occasion would I wear that? Anyway, this thing looks like it’s from 1982 but it. is. awesome. Pretty sure I’ve already made and eaten more guacamole than most Mexicans do in an entire year.
On Monday, I needed to go grocery shopping but that took a backseat to hometown visits on “The Bachelorette”. I didn’t have much to work with so my dinner consisted of bread dipped in Franks Buffalo Sauce. What was for dessert you ask? Bread covered in Agave syrup of course!
I’ve seriously thought about starting another blog devoted to the crazy shit that happens to me on my commute to work titled “Crazy shit that happens to me on the MAX”. If my dating pool were limited to the disgusting men that hit on me on the MAX, I’d be a very popular woman. A skin head with tribal tattoos and his 2 year old daughter trailing him on a leash, thought he could run some game on me by saying “What’s up with you, baby girl? You lookin’ real fine.” Barf. Then, the next morning I sat behind a meth head couple that was drooling all over each other and I’m pretty sure the guy was sleeping with his eyes open…
On a brighter note, I’ve been actually making an effort and dressing up for work. I’ll leave you with this creepy myspace picture. I think the tampon machine really brings out my eyes.