Denver Bubble Guts

Friday, April 29, 2011

In my four days in Denver I managed to black out twice and eat about 2,085,624,765,276,234 calories. I don’t even remember ordering chicken wings but apparently requested them by screaming “Barkeep! Give my your highest calorie item on the menu!” The next morning my friends didn’t use the word “eating” to describe my wing experience, they asked me if I remembered “running the train” on some chicken wings… Classy. I didn’t believe my friends when they told me but luckily they had proof:

You’re welcome for that picture.

Once we returned from the bar, I managed to eat an entire container of salsa. Although I’m not sure how much of it actually made it in my mouth after inspecting my clothes the next morning. Let’s hope salsa stains come out.

The second night I left the bar early to go get Nachos (naturally) and then puked them up a few hours later on Colin’s sheets (naturally).  So those calories don’t count, right? Sorry, Col.

My credit card company automatically puts a freeze on my account when there are charges out of  state. Let me just say that nothing feels closer to rock bottom when you’re hungover and your credit card gets declined trying to pay for a $3 meal at McDonald’s. Winner.

I didn’t work out once in five days, unless you count the snow covered mile long hike in Estes park that I tried to do in Chuck Taylor’s… I fell at least 20 times.

I also enjoyed a lot of delicious food and wonderful company. It was a hell of a time and a thank you to my friends for making it so great.

It’s no surprise that after a week like that I feel heavier than ever. I decided not to weigh myself this weekend because I’m pretty sure I’d been on a ledge somewhere if I did. I’ll be braver next week.

Luckily, one of my friends has decided to train with me and get me lifting again. He’s been kicking my ass and it’s awesome. I’ve been sore everyday this week in addition to my usual runs which has been great. I’m also back to playing soccer which is obviously my favorite form of working out.

In an effort to get my lard ass back on track, I’ve signed up for this site: . It’s awesome and a great way to keep track of calories consumed/burned for a bingy like myself.


  1. Pete tomczak says:

    This is awesome. I will begin posting my experiences. To start, my picture is on the wall next to Adam Richman’s at the downtown San Diego location of The Broken Yolk. I finished the Iron Man Challenge in 59 min. Google it.

  2. anatoliy says:

    Зарегестрироволся ошибочно. Удолите меня пожалусто!

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