Archive for April 2011

In my four days in Denver I managed to black out twice and eat about 2,085,624,765,276,234 calories. I don’t even remember ordering chicken wings but apparently requested them by screaming “Barkeep! Give my your highest calorie item on the menu!” The next morning my friends didn’t use the word “eating” to describe my wing experience, they asked me if I remembered “running the train” on some chicken wings… Classy. I didn’t believe my friends when they told me but luckily they had proof:

You’re welcome for that picture.

Once we returned from the bar, I managed to eat an entire container of salsa. Although I’m not sure how much of it actually made it in my mouth after inspecting my clothes the next morning. Let’s hope salsa stains come out.

The second night I left the bar early to go get Nachos (naturally) and then puked them up a few hours later on Colin’s sheets (naturally).  So those calories don’t count, right? Sorry, Col.

My credit card company automatically puts a freeze on my account when there are charges out of  state. Let me just say that nothing feels closer to rock bottom when you’re hungover and your credit card gets declined trying to pay for a $3 meal at McDonald’s. Winner.

I didn’t work out once in five days, unless you count the snow covered mile long hike in Estes park that I tried to do in Chuck Taylor’s… I fell at least 20 times.

I also enjoyed a lot of delicious food and wonderful company. It was a hell of a time and a thank you to my friends for making it so great.

It’s no surprise that after a week like that I feel heavier than ever. I decided not to weigh myself this weekend because I’m pretty sure I’d been on a ledge somewhere if I did. I’ll be braver next week.

Luckily, one of my friends has decided to train with me and get me lifting again. He’s been kicking my ass and it’s awesome. I’ve been sore everyday this week in addition to my usual runs which has been great. I’m also back to playing soccer which is obviously my favorite form of working out.

In an effort to get my lard ass back on track, I’ve signed up for this site: . It’s awesome and a great way to keep track of calories consumed/burned for a bingy like myself.

I was supposed to run 8 miles on Saturday but didn’t move from the couch because I was too busy nursing a hangover. Idiot.

I finished my 10K in 53 minutes. I was pleasantly surprised at my time considering I showed up with a serious burr in my ass and was not in the mood to run.  By mile 3 I was back to my chipper self and enjoyed the rest of the race. I stuffed my face with one of the free burritos they handed out after the race and felt on top of the world.

Later that day,  I decided to tailgate for the Portland Timbers game… because tailgating for soccer is normal? Anyway, I drank way too much and ended up eating like 3 hot dogs and 2 ice cream cones, basically canceling out any calories I burned during the race.

Now for the bad news. I finally weighed myself and learned a valuable lesson: You can’t eat whatever you want during training. It’s not that what I’ve been eating is unhealthy, it’s just the amount. Excuse me for thinking burning 900 calories a day would give me some wriggle room. So, I’m back to where I started… and then some. 168.8. Shit. One more reason it’s important to do weekly weigh-ins.

I’m off to Colorado tomorrow! I’m stoked to see my friends. Their whole MO seems to be to make me eat 6,000 calories a day so I plan on enjoying myself and the food while I’m there.  I’ll start a stricter diet when I return.

I’m going to try and ditch refined carbohydrates and eat a lot more protein in hopes that will help me lean out. I think I’m going to keep a food journal, too.

I’ll see you guys next week with some hilarious stories, I’m sure.

I DID IT! I finished the half marathon with a time of 1:57…  That’s less than a 9 minute mile with only 3 weeks of training. I don’t mean to toot my own horn but “TOOT! TOOT!”. It was SO much fun and I really felt like life was the tits after I finished. I think I understand what “Runner’s high” is now. It’s similar to the feeling I get when I see an all-you-can-eat buffet. Pure excitement. I think I even like running more than drinking. Lord knows I’m better at it.

All this has inspired my new goal: Run at least one half marathon every month. I’ve got them booked through October, but still need ones for August and September.

I asked myself what’s the hardest, least fun way to ring in my 25th birthday. Of course the answer was to run a half marathon the weekend before and the weekend after. My birthday is June 15th (write that down), and I have races the 11th and 18th. The second one I’ll be running in California so I’m super pumped to have my family there making fun of me and throwing cabbage at me as I cross the finish.  Kidding… sort of.

I’m actually really starting to enjoy training, too. I’m still doing the stairs for 30 minutes then running 4 miles Mon-Fri and 8 milers on the weekends. It’s making me have a crazy appetite but what else is new.

I didn’t get a chance to weigh myself this morning because I got up at 6:30 to go to the gym. I did notice I have abs again, though. They haven’t made an appearance since roughly 2004.  I welcomed them back with open arms and a form-fitting tank top.

I’m feeling pretty pumped for my half-marathon on Sunday and can’t wait to run it. I carbo-loaded on vegan food from the Better living show and 2 bottles of organic wine on Saturday to prep for my 12 mile run on Sunday. I ended up only running 10 miles, mostly because I got bored and had chub rub. This week I’ve been doing a half-hour on the stairs at the gym and then coming home and running another 4 miles to make sure I’m ready.  I think I’m going to keep this up after the run now that it’s getting nice out and I love running on the waterfront at night.

I signed up for the Cinco de Mayo half-marathon on May 8th. I figure if I keep signing up for races, I have to stay in shape. That’s also less time I can spend binge eating on my couch watching “Teen Mom”.

I’ve decided I’m no longer allowed to buy nuts. Specifically cashews. I was waiting for a prescription to be filled at Safeway and decided to grab a snack. I opted for a box of cashews and ate about half the box before I flipped it over and realized there were 13 servings in that container…. and one serving is 150 calories. You’d think this would make me stop, but I continued until about 3/4’s of the box was gone.

I’m sick of weighing myself every Friday because, the truth is, I just don’t care. I’m in some of the best shape of my life and I feel great. That being said, I think it’s important to the blog to keep doing it.  It’s also good to keep myself accountable. This week’s weight: 161.2

I’m taking today off and running 4 miles tommorow and then the big race on Sunday.

If I don’t make it, please make donations in my name to “The Human Fund”.